Read Time: 10 minutes

"Work hard, play hard." "Shoot for the stars." "Never stop chasing your dreams." "If you can dream it, you can do it!"

These are sayings and quotes we might have heard or seen throughout our lives.

In school, we're faced with the pressure to academically succeed, participate in extracurricular activities, and live a rich social life (this, of course, all while holding unique and inspiring aspirations for ourselves.) When we graduate, we're given "inspiring" messages to "never stop pursuing your dreams" and "enjoy the best chapter of your life." During our careers, we're surrounded by a culture that urges us to always be productive, to never "waste" a moment, and to always look for opportunities to grow. Even in day-to-day life, social media inundates us with videos, images, and stories of how productive and successful other people are. People who are seemingly making their dreams come true.

The Need to Succeed

We're consumed by a culture that emphasizes that dreams and productivity are the essential components of a successful life. We're taught from a young age to set goals, chase our dreams, and work tirelessly towards achieving them. That if we're not constantly working towards something, we're failing.

But here’s the thing - this simply isn't true.

Instead of picking over the definition of success in life, let's simply recognize that sometimes, letting go of dreams and productivity can be a gift. Let's recognize that by letting go of these preconceived notions of success and productivity (i.e. our conditioning), we begin to discover for ourselves what really gives us that feeling of fulfillment in our lives.

In this blog post, we'll explore the gifts of letting go of dreams and productivity.

Gift #1: Reduced Stress

Let's be honest. Constantly striving toward our dreams and trying to constantly be productive is exhausting, mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is especially true in a world where our basic needs are sometimes, mostly, not even met. 

When we let go of these pressures, our shoulders can start to feel a little less heavy. Instead of focusing on what makes us seem productive to the outside world, we can take relief in just being. We can give ourselves space to just breathe instead of constantly pushing ourselves to the limit.

Gift #2: Increased Clarity

It might be particularly hard to let go of our high-demand lifestyle when we believe that maintaining such high standards for ourselves is one of our core values. But when we do let go of these preconceived notions of success and productivity, we often gain a newfound sense of clarity. 

No longer consumed by the stress and pressure to achieve, we can take a step back and reassess what truly matters to us. Does getting straight A’s really bring us happiness? Does working 15-hour days really bring us closer to feeling whole?

We might even discover that some of the things we were striving for, things we were told "mattered," were not what we really wanted. By letting go of those dreams instilled in us, we can redirect our energy toward things that align with our values and our passions (And here’s an important secret: our values are truly the path to contentment and fulfillment)

Gift #3: Improved Relationships

When we’re saturated by a culture that focuses on getting more, doing more, and being more, the quality of our relationships tends to wane. For example, we may become so focused on our goals that we neglect our loved ones. We might take on the belief of "it's me against the world," and become competitive and unsupportive of others. On the flip side, we might even try maintaining so many different relationships, to "network," to "save face," or for whatever other reasons, that not many of these connections are meaningful, deep relationships.

By letting go of these pressures, we can form relationships that mean more to us. We no longer need to think "How will this connection get me closer to achieving my dreams?" Instead, we can think in terms like "Do I enjoy being with this person? How is it making me feel being around these people?"

Psst...by the way…

WE’VE LAUNCHED ANOTHER TEEN CHAT GROUP FOR HIGH SCHOOL AGED TEENS. TEEN CHAT IS AN ONLINE, WEEKLY GROUP FOR TEENS WHO WANT TO MANAGE THEIR ANXIETY AND BUILD A LIFELONG COMMUNITY OF FRIENDS.

Gift #4: New Opportunities

When we let go of our attachment to specific dreams or goals, we open ourselves up to new opportunities. We may even discover interests or passions that we might not have even considered before. We may find that the path we were on was not leading us where we wanted to go.

Dreams and goals can be deceivingly constricting. If our values and circumstances change over time, we shouldn't confine ourselves to specific goals that we maybe made when we were totally different people. By letting go of our preconceived notions of what we needed to do in order to "succeed," we can explore new paths and opportunities that may be truer to the people we are today.

Gift #5: The Opportunity to Play

When was the last time you truly played? Actually lost yourself in something for so long, that the next time you looked at the time, it was hours later?  

If it seems like eons ago, you're not alone. We've been taught that play and rest are luxuries, or frivolous and that if we do anything that's not serving a purpose, we're lazy or "stagnant." Let this go. Do something that brings you joy, simply for the sake of bringing you joy. Read a book that has nothing to do with your studies or career. Make art simply for the sake of art, not for building your presence online. Move your body in a way that feels good to you.

Letting go of goals or dreams allows us the opportunity to stop being hyper-self-conscious of all our actions, all time. Instead, we can make room for play, for those actions that don't need, or may not have any overt purpose.

Letting Go of A Dream Isn't the End

I know letting go of a dream can be devastating. It can feel like you're failing or giving up. You might even feel shameful and broken. And that's ok. It's important to feel these emotions. To take the time to grieve, if you can. To really sit in that uncomfortableness. 

Today, as you begin to deconstruct this "go get 'em" culture around you, to grieve the dreams and goals you might have held onto for so long, try to remember one thing: sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is the permission to let go and simply be.

I’ll leave you with this message from Devon Prince, PhD, author of Laziness Does Not Exist and Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, regarding an alternative way to live in an otherwise progress-obsessed culture:

“Every living thing has worth, and we’re all part of the universe. We don’t owe a debt to society or to the universe, because we make up society and the universe… Practice the universal regard that life is precious. Live with the belief that everybody is worthy, no matter what they do. That makes it much easier to start to believe that about yourself.”

Until next time,

About Our Author | Lena McCain MA, LPC. 0017723

Lena McCain is our Founder here at Interfaith Bridge Counseling, where she continues her support as our Clinical Director. She also holds a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health: Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University.

Lena’s drive and passions lie in the realm of community building and youth collaboration, which she has spent the last 12 years studying with an emphasis on one’s exploration of personal growth, community healing, and multicultural values. Lena’s expertise in these areas and the therapeutic field acts as a reminder to our community, teens, and young adults that they are not alone in their experience of life.