Your Productivity ≠ Your Self-Worth
Read Time: 11 minutes
It comes in different guises: toxic productivity, perfectionism, burnout culture, hyper-productivity, and overachievement syndrome, among other names. Regardless of the name, they all share a common root: the societal fixation on equating productivity with self-worth.
This harmful obsession with productivity is wreaking havoc on teens and young adults' mental and physical health. The relentless pressure to constantly achieve and excel leaves little room for rest, enjoying life, and self-care, leading to sleep deprivation, poor eating habits, a weakened immune system, and a plethora of mental health challenges, like anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. This unsustainable lifestyle undermines our sense of well-being and diminishes our overall quality of life.
As individuals, caregivers, communities, and a society, we need to combat this debilitating belief that our worthiness is tethered to our productivity. We need a cultural shift that values balance, well-being, happiness, and intrinsic worth over relentless "work" and external achievements.
Understanding Therapy's Role in Teen and Young Adult Mental Health
We know you're sick and tired of hearing this, but let us tell you one more time: therapy can be incredibly beneficial for young people. Not only is your brain still developing, but you're in the midst of some incredibly huge changes, including but not limited to leaving the house, discovering who you are as an individual, and finding your place in the world. Throw in anxiety, depression, disabilities, chronic illness, and/or a host of other life challenges and of course you're going to start feeling like the world is punching you down.
Therapy offers us a place where we can feel safer to talk about our feelings, learn ways to deal with tough times, and start feeling like we're in charge of our lives again. Essentially, therapy is a place we can get the help and advice we need to tackle the tricky parts of growing up.
Society's Take on Productivity
We live in a capitalist culture driven by success (particularly monetary success). From an early age, we're taught to aim for straight A's and to stay at the top of our class while balancing extracurricular activities that "look good" on our transcripts. As adults, many of us work 40+ hour weeks, sometimes juggling multiple jobs. We fear taking vacation days and often prioritize fostering professional networks over personal connections. And when we fail to meet these expectations, we feel lazy, unaccomplished, and worthless.
We know that this belief harms us. According to various studies, young people get less sleep, participate in more activities, grapple with more financial crises, and feel more stressed than ever. While our society may look at this as a sign of success and abundance, our bodies and minds are feeling the fallout.
Psst...by the way…
NEED HELP UNTANGLING YOUR SELF-WORTH
FROM YOUR PRODUCTIVITY? WE CAN HELP!
How Do I Know if My Self-Worth is Tied to My Sense of Productivity?
You may be struggling with toxic productivity if:
You feel you need to be constantly busy
You feel guilty relaxing or engaging in activities that aren't typically seen as productive or "bettering you"
You feel the need to strive for perfection and are distressed by any imperfections you perceive (AKA perfectionism)
You say "yes" or overcommit yourself constantly
You're prone to negative self-talk, especially when you feel like you've failed at something
You compare yourself to others
You have difficulty celebrating your achievements and never feel like you're doing enough
You need validation from others and feel worthless
What Can Teens and Young Adults Do to Build Their Sense of Self-Worth Without the Need to Be Productive?
Even though we're surrounded by this overbearing need to succeed, there's still hope. As young people, we need to start taking stock of how we perceive ourselves and redefine our idea of success. We understand this is a big ask, so here are a few ways you can begin to combat toxic productivity.
Focus on self-compassion vs self-esteem. More often than not self-esteem is too tied up with our idea of success. When thinking about our self-esteem, we might ask questions like, "Am I good enough? Did I try hard enough?" When we instead focus on self-compassion, we can get rid of the notion of "good" and "bad" and instead focus on being gentle with ourselves, with thoughts like "I did what I could at the time" and "I made a mistake, but that's ok."
Set boundaries. This might look like setting boundaries with overbearing parents who stress academics, or bosses who micromanage with endless demands. This could also mean picking a few hobbies that give you joy vs ALL of the activities that others may deem as more productive use of your time.
Stop comparing yourself to others. It may be hard to do (especially with social media and the internet) but try to focus on just you. Look at how far you've come, not compared to others in your class, career or life.
What Can Parents/Caregivers Do to Help Young People Feel Worthy?
What can parents and caregivers do to help teens and young adults combat this overbearing need to do all and be all? The best thing loved ones can do is take a step back and check in with your kid (and yourself.) Then, you can do the following:
Practice unconditional love. Show love and support that isn't contingent on achievements. Celebrate effort and personal growth rather than just outcomes. Let your teen or young adult know that you're perfectly ok with them being them, without the 4.0 or the six-figure salary.
Allow your teen opportunities to grow. Allow them to make mistakes. Encourage your teen to take on challenges and reassure them that making mistakes is a part of life and learning. When young people know that failure is an acceptable part of the process, they are more likely to take risks and learn from their experiences without fearing repercussions.
Therapy for Teens and Young Adults Struggling with Self-Worth in Denver, CO
We understand how difficult it is to feel "enough" in a society constantly demanding more. At Interfaith Bridge Counseling, our mission is to help you recognize your intrinsic worth, independent of achievements. We work with adolescents, teens, and young adults who struggle with stress, life changes, anxiety, and much more. Serving clients in Denver and online throughout Colorado, we are dedicated to guiding you toward a healthier self-image and a more balanced life. We're here for you when you're ready.
About Our Author | Lena McCain MA, LPC. 0017723
Lena McCain is our Founder here at Interfaith Bridge Counseling, where she continues her support as our Clinical Director. She also holds a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health: Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University.
Lena’s drive and passions lie in the realm of community building and youth collaboration, which she has spent the last 12 years studying with an emphasis on one’s exploration of personal growth, community healing, and multicultural values. Lena’s expertise in these areas and the therapeutic field acts as a reminder to our community, teens, and young adults that they are not alone in their experience of life.