Anxiety & Teens: A Fickle Friend

Read Time: 13 minutes

I know–anxiety? A friend? How in the world could anxiety be my friend? 

Believe me, I hear you. How could something that causes so much turmoil be beneficial for us? How could something that makes our palms sweat, our legs bounce, and our throats constrict be good? 

Well, here’s the kicker. Sometimes, anxiety can help us do wonderful things. Like tune into our friends and family, address roadblocks in our lives, and keep us physically safe. And yes, while too much anxiety can be detrimental, sometimes we can ascribe too much “bad” to something that may not be a complete villain after all. 

Let’s dive deeper.

What is Anxiety?

The short answer? Anxiety is how we describe feelings of trepidation, tension, or worry. Unlike fear, which is focused on the here and now, anxiety is an emotion linked to the future. We experience anxiety when we’re worried about something that could (however likely) happen in the future.

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Psst...by the way…

FEELING LIKE ANXIETY IS GETTING THE BEST OF YOU? WE’RE HERE FOR YOU.

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The longer answer? Anxiety is a biological, emotional, and mental response designed to keep you alert and aware.

On a biological level, anxiety releases neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, which can increase motivation and focus (think last-minute papers or reports). It also triggers responses that prepare us for challenges—whether it’s an actual emergency or just figuring out how to respond when someone says, “We need to talk.”

Anxiety helps us process uncertainty and make sense of potential risks. It’s essentially your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, this thing coming up matters to you.” 

Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, right?

Why Might Anxiety Be a Good Thing?

First, let’s acknowledge that there are very real anxiety disorders that many young people experience. When anxiety is overwhelming, debilitating to your day-to-day life, or compels you to cause harm to yourself or others, that’s a signal to seek help. But sometimes, we forget that anxiety—though uncomfortable—is a natural part of the human experience.

Anxiety feels icky, I think we can all agree on that. And typically, when we feel something that feels, well, bad, we want to avoid it, right? Unfortunately, when we avoid anxiety, those emotions, feelings, and physical symptoms tend to bubble up even worse than before. If we have the privilege to take a moment and instead be curious about our anxiety, we can start to hear what our body and feelings are telling us.

And sometimes, it’s really not all that bad.

Anxiety Tells Us That We Care

As I mentioned before, anxiety wouldn’t exist if we didn’t care about the future. Unlike fear, which is rooted in the present (i.e., “There’s a bike hurtling towards me and I need to move out of the way immediately”), anxiety is focused on the future (i.e., “I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing to my friend and mess things up.”)

Anxiety clues us in on what matters to us and motivates us to take action. It’s the feeling that makes you study for an exam, prepare for a job interview, or even rehearse what you’re going to say before making a phone call (because yes, phone calls are stressful). If we didn’t care about any of those things, we probably wouldn’t feel any anxiety about them. And that’s kind of heartening, right?

Anxiety Helps Us Seek Support

Did you know that anxiety can actually increase oxytocin, the hormone linked to social bonding? It’s true. When we feel anxious, our bodies often nudge us to connect with others for reassurance and support. Ever texted a friend before a big presentation just to hear them say, “You got this”? That’s anxiety pushing you toward connection.

In small doses, anxiety makes us more attuned to our relationships. It helps us recognize when we need help, making us more likely to reach out to family, friends, or even a therapist. It can strengthen our social bonds in ways we may not always realize.

Anxiety Helps Us Cope

Life is full of stressful moments—big and small. Learning how to sit with our anxiety, rather than run from it, teaches us resilience. The more we experience anxiety and come out okay on the other side, the more confident we become in handling challenges.

Think of it like exercise: when you first start working out, it’s uncomfortable. Your muscles ache, you’re out of breath, and it’s tempting to quit. But over time, your body adapts, and what once seemed impossible becomes easier. Anxiety works the same way.

When we feel more comfortable listening to our anxious feelings—rather than avoiding them—we build emotional strength and flexibility. We learn that we can handle uncertainty, stress, and yes, even those awkward social situations that make us want to disappear into the floor.

Therapy for Anxious Teens & Young Adults in Denver, CO & Online Throughout Colorado

So… is anxiety the villain or the hero?

Neither! Think of anxiety as a chaotic, well-meaning friend who sometimes overreacts but who ultimately has your back. Yes, anxiety’s not always fun to deal with, but it serves a very important purpose. The key, as in many things, is balance. Too much anxiety can feel overwhelming and interfere with daily life, but in manageable amounts, it can be a powerful tool for growth, motivation, and connection. 

If you’re struggling with anxiety that feels like it’s taking over, please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Talking to a friend, a trusted adult, or a therapist can make a world of difference. 

At the end of the day, anxiety is just one part of the human experience. And who knows? Maybe, just maybe, it’s not the worst friend to have around.

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About Our Author | Lena McCain MA, LPC. 0017723

Lena McCain is our Founder here at Interfaith Bridge Counseling, where she continues her support as our Clinical Director. She also holds a Master of Arts degree in Clinical Mental Health: Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling Psychology from Naropa University.

Lena’s drive and passions lie in the realm of community building and youth collaboration, which she has spent the last 12 years studying with an emphasis on one’s exploration of personal growth, community healing, and multicultural values. Lena’s expertise in these areas and the therapeutic field acts as a reminder to our community, teens, and young adults that they are not alone in their experience of life.