Suffice it to say, the teenage years are rough. Parents fear their teens are depressed, anxious, and stressed out, but struggle with how to support them in a healthy, sustainable way.

One of the things we hear parents ask is how to provide or teach their teens coping skills. "What tools can teach my kid so they can better manage their stress and emotions?" they ask. And while we're pleased to hear that parents are trying, we also internally groan.

Life isn't easy. And that's an understatement. Sometimes these strong feelings and thoughts overwhelm us and we react in ways that physically hurt us. In other words, we self-harm. If you're struggling with stopping the harmful cycle of overwhelming feelings that lead to destructive habits, read on.

In the fall the nights grow longer, the temperatures drop, and everything green seems to fade. In spring, the light peeks through our curtains sometimes before we're even awake, the weather gets warmer and while the foliage around us blossoms, allergy season makes its rude debut here in Colorado.

Regardless of the season, it's a change, and change, sometimes, is hard.

Breakups. Sometimes they creep--a slow, terrible fracture between people who once really loved each other. Sometimes they happen suddenly, seemingly without notice, leaving you suddenly alone and heartbroken. However breakups happen, they almost always leave you with a slew of emotions: grief, sadness, anxiety, fear, loneliness, and maybe even, some guilt and shame.

So how do we navigate these feelings? Especially when we're feeling incredibly vulnerable, broken and, well, just down right shitty? We might even think How do I learn to love again?

There are two buzzwords in the media that really grind my gears: 1) Self-Care and 2) Coping Skills. Lots of therapists, healthcare providers, and wellness people love to use these two words interchangeably, like they’re synonymous. It’s easy, if we’re being honest, to tell a client to take a few baths per week or to take a couple of deep breaths when we’re stressed or in pain. But that isn’t very helpful and it doesn’t really solve anything.

So…what is self-care? What are coping skills? And more importantly, when do we need them or something more?

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Rev. Amelia Richardson Dress of UCC Longmont to chat about my blog post 7 Ways on How to Mentally Survive Your High School Lockdown. Below is the transcript of the podcast linked above.

Are you (or if you’re a parent, your teen) feeling stressed? You’re not alone. All people experience some sort of stress, but teen stress is reaching an all time high. From school to social media, our friends to our parents…the pressures of every day life just keep on growing. And while some level of stress can be healthy, high levels of stress can interfere with our abilities to learn, to create and sustain relationships, and even to manage our own emotions and overall mood.

If you’re a teen or even the parent of a teen, the fear and anxiety of a school lockdown or school shooting is all too real. In 2018 alone, more than 64 school lockdowns turned into school campus shootings. It’s as if school lockdowns and school shootings are becoming our new norm, establishing an all-too-familiar cycle of fear, devastation, and loss.

With the New Year already here, it might feel as if you want to start off on the right foot. But if you’re anything like us, you may have unwanted memories or feelings tugging along into 2019. And if you want to begin the process of releasing those unwanted memories or feelings, a burning bowl ceremony (also known as a burning bowl ritual) is a great place to start.

The first few months of college, whether you’re brand new to campus or returning after the holiday, can be tough. You’ve spent a lot of time academically preparing for this opportunity in your life, just like everyone encouraged you to do. Yet, here you are struggling to adjust to the dream you’ve spent so much time and energy working towards.

So often, distracting ourselves becomes a mundane task of living our lives. To give way to our busied thoughts and tasks of the every day such as school, work, family, friends, chores. Our instinct unfolds to this idea that it is easier to be absent-minded to ourselves - to our fears, our anxieties, our worries - all the pressures and demands of our lives. Thus the distraction becomes easier than the ability to pay attention.